Ponies/horses (inc. in dangerous situations, e.g. imaginary three-day-eventing and/or riding to Olympic victory for Britain and winning gold against the odds, e.g. with dislocated shoulder,somewhat in style of International Velvet): in. Thinking giggly girls were fucking idiots: in. Going to spastically academic dayschool and not realising sexism existed until met male Chemistry students at university: also in.
But now alarm bells ring! Give me a photograph of a small and random creature (not puppies and/or kittens; something wild, perhaps, or in the rodent family), and I feel a strange and unfamiliar combination of tenderness and wild amusement.
For e.g., please examine the home-made nature of this small hamster's neckwear:
Observe the helpless childlike paws of this blonde hedgehog (an animal which, it must be noted, is mainly made of fleas and eats dog food for fun):
And, on that subject, why is it that I - a sometime drinker of absinthe and gambler on the cock-fights - am rendered insensible with tenderness and glee at the sight of these three little fellas?
And why does my best friend in England reply to every email containing a photograph of a tiny hedgehog with the words "that's DISGUSTING"?
I shall I suppose have to put these questions at the bottom of the list marked "Random Questions About The Very Nature of the Universe"; one day the answer will come up, much in the way that I hope one day an answer will emerge to the eternal question, "Why is Jeffrey Archer?".
* the fact that my mother is out of her tree is another issue altogether.
10 comments:
Interestingly (I use the term loosely) my best friend has a demented phobia of hedgehogs because, she claims, "they move too fast". Discuss.
I used to make my rabbit do show jumping over poles in the garden because I was never allowed a pony.
THEY MOVE TOO FAST? I am crying!!
At least you had a rabbit. I had to make do with a cardboard shoe and my imagination.
Hee! I can just visualise that. But did you cover your bedroom floor in a coating of straw and chaff (purchased by mail order in realistic jute sacks) and plastic ponies to reproduce the stable experience in your own home? When I am complaining about my childhood by stepfather just says "chaff. in the wardrobe." darkly and I am silenced.
Those babby hedgehogs look kind of like fleshy conkers... Weird, but, yes, strangely cute.
Is there any reason for this unusual tenderness? You haven't been tempted to acquire a Canadian kitten have you? Surely you had enough of cats in London.
Hedgehogs are one of my favoritest animals of all because they are prickly and pink on the inside and because they don't live where I live so I don't have any practical experience of them and thus can believe what I like about them unfettered.
That hamster however should probably be humanely drowned along with its owner who felt one should dress up an animal's idiot cone with rick-rack.
Also: "What is the difference between a duck?"
The universe hangs in the balance over that one.
Dammit, I know. Is it a sort of a surprising ache/flutter in the upper arms and shoulders? Could it be (oddly) maternal?
God what is about them. The one off the downstairs patio is called "Hedgey", and I just know that he and my Chow Chow could be happy and would get along after the initial, ya know, transition. But my husband won't let me let him in the house! Probably for the best. He has to noisily chomp on his garden worms outside.
Those baby ones in the photo, there is something so tender and vulnerable about them, like uncircumcised penises. :)
Whoa. Those hedgehogs are disgusting.
And, what gives? They're neither hedges nor hogs.
they are small, vulnerable, and pink, and i suspect, dear nwm, that your maternal instinct may have been waving at you!
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