Day 461: I Consider Starting Up A Sex Blog

I am fed up with being left out in the cold!! Everyone else has a 'sex blog' so I cannot see why I shouldn't too; it seems quite unfair, really, that all these other 'bloggers' are out there having sexyfun on the internets while I am just writing about giant fruit and being a life-coach (albeit a very good one).

I have been thinking about my possible new sex-blog really hard. (Not like that!!!!) From what I can gather, convention dictates that it should:

1. Have a sexy French name, e.g. Le Super-Sexy Singe Non-Travaillant, or (my personal preference!), Il y a du monde au balcon;

2. Feature a close up photograph of my enbonpoint (see Il y a du monde au balcon, above), which will be difficult because I am a monkey and I do not think that that many monkeys have breasts that you would want to see in a push-up brassiere;

3. Talk about 'shafts', 'plunging', 'erection' and 'gushing' (although this also sounds a bit like sub-surface grouting and/or sub-marine tunnelling, possibly using the NATM);

4. Include me talking about my own moral code (or lack thereof);

5. Profess to be 'feminist' in some way, particularly when criticised for being a bit shit;

6. Be not that interesting;

7. Be mainly read by 15 year old boys who live in Luton.

I am quite excited about it (not like that!!!).

What do you think? Would YOU like to read the L'Histore Sexuelle Du Singe Non-Travaillant, or The Joy of Monkey? Let me know! I think it could be great!!