"Do you think I'm pretty?", ask some girls directly. (You cannot say "no" to this, unless you are drunk.) "I'm ugly", say other ones, so someone will say "No you are not. You are pretty, and like a princess." "I am fat", say thin ladies. "Do I look nice in this?", say others.
I am quite the porker, which I find vexing for a number of reasons (and no, do not send suggestions for diets: the only one that works is called "Eat Less and Move Around More", and I will not discuss the matter further), but I like my face. I think it looks like me, which is a relief.
However, I am a lady, and rare is the lady who does not very much enjoy the odd compliment or two! Even if, for example, she is sure of the love and 'interest' (hem hem!) of her paramour, her paramour must remind himself that she is a lady, and therefore in need of the odd "You look nice", "I like your hair" or "I like the way you make toast". (Any will do!)
But today I made the mistake of asking the question of a person I work in an office with! (Strange, as I do not feel the need to ask, and the days in which I wheedled disingenuously for reassurance are long gone, like tube fares costing under £23 one-way).
Me: Mathieu. Do you think I'm ugly?
Mathieu: I've told you before. I think you're prime meat.
Me: What does that mean?
Mathieu: You know what it means.
I am none the wiser, but strangely happy!
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6 comments:
See also "a tidy boiler".
Or 'you don't sweat much for a fat lass'. Strangely, Mathieu genuinely thinks this is a compliment, and makes 'huge breast' actions when he says it. He is French though.
I have got better with giving compliments over time. As a teenager I once consoled a recently-dumped female friend with the inspiring, confidence-building "You're not unattractive".
To all womankind: I am so sorry.
I realise now that I should have called her prime meat and maybe made honking noises on her knockers.
You are not a porker!
[Turning to potentially misled commenters]:
She is not a porker.
Katy, you are a dear and kind woman, but I am a long way off not being a porker. I don't waddle when I walk, that much is true, but there are still some months (and much more effort) to be endured before I am anywhere near 'acceptable in jeans' level. this is the truth!
mathieu is a young pup and the yoot of today have a very limited vocabulary when it comes to conversing with lovely ladies (such as yourself). and the french bit doesn't help him either.
however, to 'tidy bolier' i would add 'tidy unit' as well
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