Many years ago (3), when the world was a place that I worked in, I worked for an advertising agency that did Nissan's advertising. So keen was I to kiss arse, I bought (as my first car), a Nissan Micra. I got about £7,000 off it mind you, so it's held its value well despite having had the right wing replaced twice, a new clutch, and a dent in the front bumper. Anyway, I digress.
I was talking to my mother this morning about many things, including Earth, Wind and Fire and the people in the village with the dogs. I had another mild rant about twats in 4x4s.
My mother: I hope you leant on the horn.
Me: No point in the Micra. It goes peeeeep like that. It's shit.
My mother: You could get it customised ...
Me: ... what, get someone to pimp my ride? .
My mother: Yes. Get someone to replace the horn with one that just goes FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF.
Me: What about CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT?
My mother: Better, possibly. Anyway ... oh God, what's your father doing NOW? (repeat to fade)
4 comments:
I want a horn that says, "TWAAAAAAATTT"! I've added you to my list o'links because, well, I can.
Monkeyfather asked:"did you really say that?", and I said: "Yes, I think I did, and I suggested purple fur upholstery as well. I think you can have it done somewhere off Electric Avenue".
Then he asked: "So everything on this plate came from our garden except the ham?", and I said: "Except I haven't got a buffalo at the end of the orchard".
Then he asked: "Did you know that there were different sizes of hose, 15mm, 18mm, etc.?" And I replied: "yes, I have experience in these matters".
Life is no less complicated, nor less peculiar, for nearly retired Monkeyparents than it is for their Monkeybabies.
And then we played the Best of Earth Wind and Fire.
and I thought my parents were nutty...
i wish i'd had YOUR mother!
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