Saturday, July 29, 2006

Day 20: I Watch My Cat Monster Lose One Of His Nine Lives And Laugh Inappropriately

Here is my cat Monster recovering from a near death experience that took place less than an hour ago. Now, before I go on, let me make myself clear: I hate cats, but acquired two a couple of years ago thanks to a mixture of alcohol and - no, I was drunk, that was it. Anyway, one of them died a few weeks ago. And today, the second one nearly pegged it too.

Monster was lying fatly in the grass in the back garden basting his whiskers in the sunshine. (Monster is always lying fatly, unless he is eating or chewing my computer cables.) I was hanging out the washing. I heard a rustling. The neighbour at the end of my garden (hidden behind a 15ft brick wall) was trying to cut branches off the apple tree that regularly deposits cooking apples into my garden. Monster looked up, distracted by the rustling. An enormous apple fell from the tree on to his head. He staggered a bit, did a crap miaow and kind of shook his head, then wandered off.

He's a fucking idiot (even in cat terms), so I have no idea if there's any lasting brain damage. Still, anything for a laugh, eh?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Who'll be laughing when Monster comes up with the 5th Law of Thermodynamics ?

Lis of the North said...

Hello Monkey! I loved this post. Tears of mirth are streaming down my face. I tried to read it to my husband but I can't speak for laughing. It's just the imagery. Poor cat though. Or not.

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