Day 1: I Asked For Crispy Salt And Pepper Squid, You Fool

I had a home-made muffin for breakfast. It was fucking revolting. Do not make Rick Gallop's Low GI Muffins. They are sand and glue, and that is all. I know. I made them. I saw what went into them. He says you can put raisins in them too, but I hate raisins and dried organic blueberries are expensive.

When you don't work and have enough money not to worry (because your ex-employer was public-spirited), you make muffins and use public transport. I used to drive to work, and when I didn't drive, I would take a cab. Today I went to the cinema with someone. I thought it would be nice to take the tube at 2 in the afternoon and play 'spot the terrorist', but the tube was broken, so I got a cab.

Better have lunch, we thought. We ordered crispy salt and pepper squid from the man. It came.

Sarah: Excuse me.
Waiter (taciturn, blond, South African): Yis?
Sarah: Is this what we ordered?
Waiter: Crispy salt and pepper squid? Yes.
Sarah: What's the red sauce? It's sweet and sour.
Waiter: No it is not. It is chili sauce.
Sarah: Where on the menu does it say 'covered in chili sauce'?
Waiter (rolls eyes): Do you want to choose something else from the menu?
Me: No.
Sarah: No. Do you think this looks crispy?
Waiter: DO. YOU. WANT. SOMETHING. ELSE. FROM. THE. MENU.
(I drink the wine)
Sarah: No.
Waiter: I will take this away.
Me: No, come on. Do you actually and literally think this looks crispy?
Waiter: It is crispy salt and pepper squid.
Me: So it's squid. Good, very good. But it's not salty or peppery, and is in a red sauce which is not on the menu and because of the red sauce is not in any way crispy. Apart from that it's brilliant, really. And just exactly what we ordered.
Waiter: (laser eyes of evil) I did not write the menu.

Sarah sighs. I drink the wine.

We saw a film that had people with silly voices in and a woman that acted only with her pout and her eyebrow. There was one good bit in it though, in which two men faught on a mill that had detached itself from a mill house.

I had another revolting muffin for dinner. Can't find anything else to eat. Or rather just can't be bothered to cook.